kelemahan hari ini

image source: tumblr

Aku pikir pada akhirnya aku bisa baik-baik saja.

Aku pikir aku telah memenangkan pertempuran ini.

Aku pikir hal buruk itu tidak akan kembali.

Nyatanya tidak.

Aku salah.

Hari ini, aku kalah.
Hari ini aku menyerah.

---

Pikiran-pikiran menyeramkan itu ternyata masih ada,

hanya menunggu waktu yang tepat untuk kapan menyerang lagi.

Tidak pernah benar-benar hilang,

selamanya menghantui.

11:30 pm

-V

little did they know

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they asked me,

"how are you feeling?"

I said "I'm fine,

I'm not lying"

but little did they know,
I'm drowning in ocean of thoughts
sometimes hitting the reef.

they asked me,

"what are you hiding?"

with a smile upon my face, I said,

"nothing"

but little did they know,

I'm hopelessly living,

secretly hoping

there is someone who can see right through me

...and help me.

March 8th, 2017. 01:11

- V

kacau balau

image source: tumblr

takut
sedih
frustasi
marah
benci
...iri

bagaimana jika semua rasa itu bercampur aduk jadi satu?

ingin rasanya menjadi yang terbuka,

mencari teman untuk tempat bercerita.

tapi kembali lagi,
pada kalimat tanya yang seakan selalu menghantui
"siapa yang peduli?"

7th March 2017, 02:05 WIB

- V 

stupid

how could

I give
my heart
to the person
that will never really gave his
in return?

...and why do

I fall

for someone
that hasn't really moved on

at all?

February 28th, 2017. 02:05

- V

what if?

image source: tumblr

I don't know how many times

I break my promise to myself

about "this is the last time"

---

I thought, 

what if someday

I hit a point when I'm not gonna be mad anymore,

because I'm no longer care about this

and even you as well?

January 30th, 2017. 23:46.

-V

will you?

image source: tumblr

I never ask for flowers or chocolates

every time I'm mad or sad,

ain't I?

I just ask for something simple,

please, listen to me more,

please, understand me better

01.02

- V