uncertainty

image source: tumblr

there's so much things
i hope we can do together
and we could be happier than ever



but even right now,
i barely see a future with you somehow.

-V.

does it?

image source: tumblr

tonight,

with my mind wander how things could go wrong when it should be right,
i thought,

was it really his fault?
or is it just me for being too sensitive?


maybe he loves me more than i know,
maybe he already gave more than what i should deserve

and maybe the problem is myself,
for always expecting more,
while i forgot to return the favor equally.

it reached to the point where i told myself,
it's me that should have changed.

i should love him better
i should know him deeper.

but just like that,
right after i intended to change my mind,

another disappointment hit me hard.

once again, 

i was faced with a reality that made me fall apart.

----

i guess that's a clue,
even the universe doesn't find it true.

August 24th, 2016. 13:48

V.

the moment I knew

You should've been there,
Should've burst through the door,
With that 'baby I'm right here' smile,
And it would've felt like,
A million little shining stars had just aligned,

And I would've been so happy.

from "The Moment I Knew" lyric

by Taylor Swift

pertanyaan jam 2 pagi

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Bagaimana kah rasanya mengobrol dengan lawan bicara melalui telfon hingga berjam-jam lamanya?

Bagaimana bisa orang lain dapat memiliki seseorang yang bisa ditelfon jam 2 pagi, hanya karena ia membutuhkan seseorang untuk berbicara?

Dan beruntung sekali, seseorang yang memiliki sahabat dekat -- yang sangat, sangat dekat -- dan dapat dihubungi dengan mudah untuk menceritakan segalanya.

Mengapa aku tidak merasakan itu semua?

20/08/2016. 02.20

- V

the effect of you

it has been two years ago

yet,
i still got numb
when i see you

- V

December 1st, 2016. 23:39

a painful mistery

image source: tumblr

He got me surprised by his preference,
got me amazed by his mind.

His words are not nice sometimes,
but he is one of the kind.
---
He was like
a puzzle
that I want to solve,


yet, I ache
every time I approach.

-V.